President Obama murdered hundreds of millions of innocent organisms today when he nonchalantly swatted a harmless flying insect during a television interview. The President was then heard to brag about the slaughter saying “Got the sucker!”
Professor Blake Barton, MD, PHD, DDS, commented when asked by PULSE reporters, that as many as a billion, or at least several hundred millions of germs, viruses, bacteria and other microscopic organisms can be found in the body of the typical housefly.
“Without doubt,” stated Professor Barton, “the President is guilty of the extermination of untold millions of life forms.”
Lakisha Washington, president of SMAT (Single Mother’s Against TV Violence), said, “For a man of color, and especially the President of the United States of America, to engage in this kind of television violence is unacceptable. What is he teaching our children? That if something bothers you all you have to do is smack it down? Kill it? Destroy it? I could understand this message coming from George Bush, but from President Obama? How is a mother supposed to raise her children in this kind of environment?”
Cassandra Fountain, spokesperson for Gays Against Guns (GAG) said, “I never expected this kind of discrimination from President Obama. A fly has as much right to life as a human. This type of extra species bigotry must be stopped. I am ashamed I voted for the man.
PULSE editors demanded an apology from President Obama. The White House has declined to comment.
